Confessions
by SnapshotsOfAFool
Summary: Nothing is ever simple. Not least marriage, something Lucius Malfoy knows all too well. Never one for expressing his emotions freely, Lucius finally confesses everything he should have told Narcissa too long ago. [A series of mini fics detailing the most important moments of Narcissa and Lucius's marriage!] Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1

From the Moment I saw You…

She hated these things. Stuffy old halls filled with stuffy old people and their stuffy music. Not to mention conversations that could bore one to sobs. It was merely an endless repetition of small talk, the same questions asked over and over and over until they became a low meaningless drone that filled her ears, circling around her brain and making her sleepy. She didn't even listen, just smiled politely, nodded at the correct intervals, and learnt to recite her answers with something vaguely akin to enthusiasm.

The worst part however, was her mother's incessant attempts to play match-maker and find her a husband, even if she was only just eighteen. Frankly, it was insulting that she had so little faith in her to find one for herself, but there was more too it than that. The idea of ending up in an loveless arranged marriage, doomed to forever turn a blind eye to her ageing husband's affairs and hang off of his arm at formal events such as this one as some sort of maudlin trophy, did not fill her with joy. It was something she had seen too much of growing up and she was determined not to share the same fait as so many of her mother's friends.

She scanned the hall as she stood beside her mother, suddenly extremely jealous of Bella, who, as a married woman, was no longer obliged to attend such events if she so wished (which usually translated to 'if she threw a large enough tantrum'). All the usual suspects had turned out in their dated and dusty finery; there was one intriguing new addition however. Her cool blue eyes settled on the tall blonde, taking in his angular features and sleek long hair. It was lighter even than her own, and tied back with a neat back ribbon. His light grey eyes settled on her for a moment and a smug little smirk twitched at the corner of his mouth. She averted her gaze, maintaining her impassive facial expression despite the little smirk attempting to pull her own lips into a smile. When she glanced back the boy had gone and she felt her heart sink somewhat. Though, when she thought about it, it was unsurprising. He probably had far better things to be doing than steeling glances at some random girl at his ball.

"Is my ball boring you?" Narcissa jumped as the soft whisper tickled the back of her neck. She looked around to see a small smirk, and twinkling grey eyes looking down at her. Lucius Malfoy looked very smug indeed at the no doubt flushed look on her face.

"No… not at all…" she said, her cheeks burning as her heart leapt into her mouth. He couldn't help but chuckle.

"You're a terrible liar," he said. "It's Miss Black isn't it?" he said, still standing behind her, her mother and the other old crones cackling away with her having not noticed him yet.

"Yes," Narcissa nodded. "Mr Malfoy, am I correct?" she asked, schooling her face into it's usual disinterested expression as she peered up at him. He merely smirked.

"I think I had better relieve you from your boredom Miss Black. It is my responsibility as host after all to keep my guests entertained." Would you care to dance?" Narcissa peered up at him, inclining her head politely, the hint of a curling smile now tugging at her own pink lips.

"If you must," she shrugged, though her heart beat a little heavier behind her ribs. He took her arm and led her out onto the dance floor, leading her seamlessly into a slow smooth waltz. She had to admit she was impressed, and looking up into his cool grey eyes didn't particularly help.

"If I'm honest I don't particularly enjoy these things either," the blonde smirked down at her, his eyes seemingly stuck on hers. She raised a brow at him incredulously.

"Mr Malfoy, I feel inclined to point out that, as host, you _decided_ to throw this little, shin dig. You didn't have to." He sniggered a little and looked up around the room.

"True. Though sometimes one has to be seen doing the 'done thing'. And throwing a summer ball has always been the done thing for the Malfoy family. Just because dear old Daddy is dead, doesn't mean it can stop." The candor with which he spoke stunned her a little and her eyes flickered away for a moment.

"I'm sorry. I'd heard what happened," she said, looking back up at him. But he shook his head, dismissing her words.

"I don't want sympathy," he said, holding her close as they danced, his hand warm and firm on her lower back. "I want to attempt to enjoy a night dancing with the one gem amongst dusty glass" he smirked, making her cheeks warm again.

"As you wish" she said, a small smile on her face as he spun her.

But then it was over. All too soon the dance had finished and she was ushered out of the room, mother and aunt yammering in her ear. Looking back she saw him, standing in the middle of the dance floor, little smirk on his face, and she knew she'd be seeing him again the gem amongst dusty glass.


	2. Chapter 2

I thought you were beautiful

The wind was sharp against his skin, pinching lightly at his cheeks and nose as it made his long hair rustle against his cloak, tugging at the neat black bow that held it in place. Winter in Scotland was always ghastly. Had it not been for the girl at his side he would never have voluntarily come up to the highlands during January. He'd much rather spend his Saturday afternoons by the fire, a book in hand. But it was a Hogsmeade weekend, and having left Hogwarts, any time he could grab with the girl seemed worth it. Besides the weather today wasn't too awful. The wind was sharp yes, but the sun was shining brightly, and at least it had stopped snowing.

Lucius felt a small hand slide into his, gloved fingers intertwining. He looked down at Narcissa, the sun shining on her bright blonde hair, her pale cheeks flushed as she huddled a little closer.

'Cold?' he asked. She turned her light blue eyes up to him, those perfect pink lips curling into a small smirk.

"Why? Are /you/?" she teased. He smirked and rolled his cool grey eyes.

"I was merely making sure you didn't want to go inside. I wouldn't want you to catch a chill."

"Careful Mr Malfoy, or I might start to think you really care about me." He smirked again, giving her hand a small squeeze. She certainly was perceptive. It was rare for Lucius to care about anyone other than himself. But Narcissa, Narcissa was different.

"Would that be so terrible?" he asked with a little chuckle. She looked back down at the snow crunching softly under their feet as they walked. Was he imagining it, or had her cheeks gone a slightly darker shade of pink?

"No, no I suppose not…" she mused softly, her smirk becoming a touch more genuine.

They walked in a comfortable silence a little longer, their hands remaining intertwined as they approached the frozen lake. The giant squid waved it's tentacles through a hole in the ice in the middle, like a giant sea anemone stuck to the ice. He felt her shiver a little besides him and he fought to keep the snigger from leaving his lips. He had been right. He knew she was cold, not that she'd ever admit it. She was without a doubt one of the most stubborn people he had ever met. As they came to a stop next to the lake he wrapped an arm around her slender shoulders, tucking her into his side without a word. She nestled into him, wrapping her arms around his torso, grateful as he sheltered her from the wind a little. She looked up at him and seeing the smirk on his lips and scowled.

"What?" she asked, but her scowl only made him chuckle.

"Nothing," he grinned. She pouted in response. He couldn't help but find it adorable and that was clearly not what she wanted.

"Lucius Malfoy tell me what you're laughing at!" she demanded.

"You flower," he grinned. "I knew you were cold! Stubborn little thing." She hid her flushing face against his chest and he shook his head lightly, still smiling.

"You're being mean" she pouted, swatting at him a little as she peaked up at him, her eyes twinkling, her cheeks flushed pink. Merlin she really was beautiful.

"I'd never be mean to you Narcissa," he said, a hint of sincerity colouring his words.

"You're mean to everyone," she teased.

"But I'd never be mean to _you_ ," he said, looking down at the girl in his arms. "I'm pretty sure that is _not_ the way one goes about getting the girl hm?"

"Are you saying you _like_ me Lucius?" she teased, smiling up at him.

"Narcissa, I think you know perfectly well how I feel."

"I don't know Mr Malfoy," she said with a cheeky grin. "You're _very_ hard to read." Lucius had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. She was impossible, that much he knew. But then again, it was also why he liked her. She was the only person who had the guts to tease him, to poke fun at him and challenge him.

"I'll show you then," he murmured, bending his blonde head to gently capture her pink lips, feeling her freeze in surprise against him as a little gasp escaped her. He wrapped both arms securely around her slender waist, holding her to him as he kissed her, keeping it soft, tender. When at last he pulled back, for once, she was speechless. He gave her a small smile, cupping her beautiful blushing face in his hands.

"Now do you see how I feel?" he chuckled, and she gave a little nod. Perhaps she had known all along, perhaps she hadn't. He'd probably never know. But then again, where would be the fun in that?


	3. Chapter 3

I fell in love with you

Narcissa looked down at the parchment in her hands, blinking hard. This couldn't be right, could it? This wasn't possible. She shook her head, blinking again before reading the letter for a second time, and then a third. A fourth. No. No this was a hoax. Sirius's idea of a practical joke surely? But that was her father's hand. She knew the spidery writing by heart. This was real. Andromida had gone.

The floor seemed to shift under her feet, her head grew hot, the room in front of her dulled despite the bright firelight that filled Lucius's drawing room. She felt a strong arm wrap around her waist as the floor started to draw nearer, Lucius's warm solid body propping her up as her head spun.

"Narcissa? What is it? What did it say? Narcissa?" She could hear his voice, register the words that were being spoken, but it sounded far away, distant, and she couldn't think how to respond.

"Come on flower," he murmured, and she felt him lift her up, holding her securely to him as he carried her from the room. "You're okay," he said softly. "You just need to lie down."

He took her upstairs, gently settling her on his bed before fetching her a goblet of water. Sliding an arm around her slender shoulders he eased her up, handing her the goblet.

"Drink," he said firmly, though he kept his tone gentle. She took the goblet and sipped, the water helping to slowly clear her foggy head. Lucius gently tucked a strand of blonde behind her ear, his grey eyes worried.

"Now, are you going to tell me what was in that letter?" he asked. Narcissa took a shaky breath, setting the goblet aside.

"It… it was from Father," she murmured. "Andromida… has been disowned. She ran off with the muggle boy." The words almost seemed to stick in her throat as she attempted to force them out. Schooled as he always had been in the art of controlling his expressions, Lucius prevented his jaw from dropping, though not without some difficulty. He took the now crumpled letter out of her hand and scanned it quickly.

"She left us… for him… for a boy… she abandoned us… for a god damn mud-blood," she said, a little growl rumbling in her chest as she spoke. "She abandoned her sisters… she abandoned _me_ , for a mud-blood piece of filth!" Hot tears ran down her face as she spoke, a little sob escaping her. She seemed almost to break, crumbling as the reality of it all hit her. Lucius silently pulled her into his arms, cradling her to him as she cried. He didn't know what to say, what to do. She had just lost her sister and there was _nothing_ he could do or even say to change that.

"Everyone leaves," she mumbled softly as tears rand down her cheeks. "Sirius ran away, Bellatrix values the Dark Lord over me, Dromida…" her voice tapered off as she hid her face against his chest, her words dissolving into sobs. He gently rubbed her back in large soothing circles, pressing a soft kiss to her head.

"I promise, I'll never be one of those people. I'll never leave you," he said softly.

"You probably will…" she mumbled. "Everyone has something or someone they prioritise over me."

"Not me," he said gently. She peaked up at him through watery blue eyes.

"Really? Why?" Lucius took a deep breath, working himself up to say it. The words had been on the tip of his tongue for weeks, but he had been unable to get them out. He had never been very good at this, expressing emotion. But right now, here in this moment, he had to try.

"Because I love you," he said simply. The smallest smile spread over her face and she leaned up, pressing a simple kiss to his lips.

"I love you too."


	4. Chapter 4

Faster than I ever thought possible

There was a flash of light, loud cracking, like gun shots from all sides. Where moments ago it had been the two of them, dark and light, with a body on the floor, now the pair were surrounded by aurors. Loud panicked shouts of "IMPEDIMENTA!" filled the air and red stunning spells shot at them from all angles. Lucius grabbed his sister in law's hand and vanished with a crack, just in the nick of time. They appeared in the hall of Malfoy Manor, panting, Bellatrix seething. She wrenched her hand from Lucius's and backed up, practically snarling as her sister came running into the room.

"What did you do that for!?" she screeched. "We could have taken them on!" Narcissa looked from her new husband to her sister, frowning.

"No! We couldn't have! You nearly got us killed!" Lucius barked. "You went too far Bellatrix! You have to stop this pointless charade of trying to bring him back. He. Is. Gone!" Bellatrix had her wand at his throat faster than he had ever thought possible. She was practically snarling in his face, almost drooling, teeth bared like the savage animal she was.

"You take it back!" she snarled. "You TAKE IT BACK!" she screeched in his face. Narcissa leapt forward and tugged at her sister, throwing her off of him.

"If you _dare_ hurt him Bellatrix I'll throw you to the aurors myself!" she said dangerously, standing at her husbands side, both their wands drawn on the other witch.

"You both disgust me!" Bellatrix shrieked. "He's been gone only days and already the pair of you have turned your backs on our Lord and master, you've run with your tails between your legs. You've betrayed him!"

"He is gone Bellatrix," Lucius growled. "This is how we survive. We play to the winning side. The only reason they are leaving us alone is because they think that I did what I did under the imperious curse. _That_ is how I will keep my family safe. And _you_ and your antics," he practically spat the word. "Are putting that in jeopardy." Narcissa looked at her husband, touched by his words. Bellatrix merely spluttered, still raging about the dark lord. About bringing him back.

"Get. Out." Lucius snarled, taking a few steps towards her. "Get out of my house, and away from my family. You are nothing but a liability now," he said. Narcissa was torn. But that, snarling, raging, mad creature before them, that wasn't her sister. Not the sister she had grown up with.

"He'll be back," Bellatrix said, a little dangerous cackle bubbling from her throat. "He'll be back. I WILL FIND HIM!" she roared, turning and vanishing with a loud crack.

Once she was gone Lucius let out a heavy sigh, sinking into his large winged arm chair. He looked up at his wife, seeing the turmoil in her eyes and held out a hand for her.

"Come here flower," he said, his tone more gentle now that the crazed woman had gone. She went to him, only a little reluctantly, perching on his knee. He wrapped an arm around her slender waist and tugged her into him.

"She has changed, since he fell" she murmured, resting her head atop his own. He gently brushed his thumb up and down her side, sighing softly.

"Cis, she will get us caught. She could be my undoing. I'm sorry, but I had to," he said, his voice quiet. "I only want to protect you. That 's all." Bellatrix was less than nothing to him, an after thought in his list of priorities. She was nothing. All that mattered was his wife, and his son.

"I know," she murmured. "I know." She knew he just wanted to protect them. But.. It wasn't easy, picking between her sister and her husband. But it would be him, every time. It would be him.


	5. Chapter 5

You're so strong

Three minutes. How was it three measly minutes could feel like and entire lifetime? She kept her hand closed around the little test, having pricked her finger only moments ago. Now all she had to do was wait. For three, long, excruciating minutes. She should be used to this by now. She should have gotten used to the way her heart pounded in her chest with anticipation, and the crushing disappointment that always followed. But she could never stop the frantic beating, and the tiny spark of hope that filled her. Even after five six years of trying, and failing. She couldn't quite stop the hope from returning every time she took out a pregnancy test.

She watched the seconds tick by on her watch, the tiny diamond floating around the face. Two minutes. One minute.

"I don't think I can look," she whispered as the tiny sapphire that was the minute hand hand finally settled on three minutes past the hour. Lucius pressed a small kiss to her temple, his arm around her waist.

"Do you want me to do it?" he asked her. She shook her head silently. She had to do this. But.. This was their last chance. They had done everything. Everything possible, and still nothing. If this didn't work, they didn't know what to try next.

"No… no I can do it" she said, though her fingers remained clamped shut around the little test. If it had gone red, she was pregnant. If it was still white…

"Just breath Cis," he said gently. "Take a breath, and then have a look, okay?" She nodded a little. She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before one by one, she peeled open her fingers. White… it was white. She heard Lucius let out a soft sigh next to her. He picked up the little needle from her hand and walked over to the bin, throwing it away. Why had she expected anything different? She should really have learnt by now not to get her hopes up. She shuffled backwards, curling up in a little ball in the middle of their large bed, tears sliding silently down her face. It felt like someone had plunged their hand inside he chest and gripped her heart, squeezing it so she couldn't breathe. She felt the bed shift as Lucius lay behind her, wrapping an arm tightly around her middle as he pulled her into him. He pressed a small kiss to her shoulder, holding her close as she hugged his arm to her. He could feel her crying, though he knew she wouldn't make a peep. She never did. She had always been a silent cryer.

"I'm so sorry," she murmured thickly, a small sob escaping her. "I've failed you…" He shushed her gently, kissing the back of her head.

"No you haven't flower," he murmured. "It will happen. Just give it time." Time? They'd been trying for years. If it hadn't happened by now… she had to wander if it ever would. Would he leave her if she couldn't give him son? Would he find someone would could actually fulfil her duties as his wife?

"I'll give you a son," she mumbled, tears still sliding down her face. "One day, I'll give you a son. I promise."


	6. Chapter 6

And we've been through so much.

At first it was just a twinge. A little twitch in the base of her abdomen. Nothing to worry about surely. Then it came again, a little harder this time. She frowned, looking down, placing a hand over her eight month swollen belly. Nothing. She waited, still frowning. Then it hit. It hit hard like a knife taring through her gut and a strangled cry of pain left her lips as she doubled over. Again she felt the stabbing searing sensation streak through her as she sank to her knees, the pain dizzying as stars spun before her eyes. She slumped onto her side, her arms around her swollen bump as the pain tore through her again. She could hear her name being called and the next moment saw a pair of shoe appear, her husband's grey eyes looking into hers before everything went black.

The first time she woke all she could feel was pain: a searing, burning, taring pain that was clawing at her abdomen. She couldn't even scream. Her lips parted but only the smallest whimper fell from them. She could vaguely hear dulled, muffled voices around her, calling her name, their fast chatter filling her ears but their words were unintelligible, their faces were dulled. Where was Lucius? What was happening? Why was she in so much pain? Was it the baby? She had so many questions she needed answers for, but before she could get any of them out the darkness seemed to creep back around her and swallowed her whole.

The second time she woke she was somewhere new. There was a sharp aching that had replaced the stabbing pain and her head felt thick and foggy. She could hardly feel her heavy limbs, and for a moment she questioned whether she could move at all. White walls. A soft beeping. A dripping. Blackness.

The third time she woke her head was clearer. The fog swilling around her brain seemed to have lessened and as her blue eyes fluttered open the walls very slowly came into focus. White, starched, cold. She moved her head a little, blinking hard. The small movement seemed to take every ounce of energy she had in her. Very slowly, the sleeping form her her husband came into focus. He looked exhausted. There are dark shadows under his eyes, a small amount of stubble on his face, his hair unbrushed and slipping from it's knotted ribbon. Suddenly she couldn't help but wander how long she had been lying here.

"L-Lucius…" she murmured. Her voice sounded horse, hardly more than a cracked whisper. She looked down and found that her hand was wrapped in his. She gave it a small squeeze, and he stirred. His grey eyes opened slowly and he let out a deep sigh, rubbing an exhausted hand over his face.

"Thank fuck…" he breathed. He moved so that he was sitting on the edge of her bed and pressed a small kiss to her brow, careful and tender. "You had me worried flower," he murmured.

"What happened?" she croaked, looking at him as he sat besides her. She heard his breath catch in his throat, and her free hand went to her stomach. It … it was flatter… not hard… what… what had happened? Lucius must have seen the panic in her eyes because he moved so that he was face to face with her, taking her other hand in his and kissing them both.

"Calm Narcissa, calm" he murmured gently. "He's okay. The baby is okay." Tears sprang to her eyes at his words. They… they had a son. After so long, it had finally happened.

"We.. We have a son?" she whispered.

"We have a son."

._._._._._._._._._._._._._.

Writer's Note:

I'm sorry it's taken longer than usual to post this bit! Terrible I know but work was hectic this week! I'll make sure that the next part doesn't take so long to post I promise! Happy reading and do please leave a review and let me know what you think!


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